Call me a Bitch but so is Karma

So is it terrible that I am a tiny bit happy that Tori Spelling the married woman/celebrity, and former Other Woman, has been bit in the ass by karma when her now unfaithful-to-her husband cheated on her!  Jeez! Don’t we say this all the time…

“If they cheated WITH you… They will certainly cheat ON you!”

I know it’s a terrible person to be – to be happy for her pain. But as a betrayed spouse I am cheering for the former Mrs. Dean McDermott.  I should have sympathy for Tori Spelling as a betrayed spouse but honestly I don’t.  She was married. He was married.  They had an affair and hurt their spouses deeply.   I bet they both used the line that darling Dean used to lure his last slutty affair partner to bed… the old line, “We have a sexless marriage.”

MORONS.

I only feel bad for the kids.  Now Tori knows how the betrayed spouse feels. Sucks doesn’t it, Tori?!

Ugh, now I feel bad for feeling good about Karma.

In other news, today is my 1 year anniversary of blogging! Yay!  I am working everyday to survive the pain of infidelity and become a better person in spite of it and blogging has helped me get stronger.  (Despite relapses like today when I am a karma fan and ‘other woman’ hater.)

You my readers make it a worthy journey toward healing – so thank you for kind words, your challenges, your critiques and your friendship.  Cheaters don’t know what a real connection is… I do.  I feel connected to you, even if only virtually, when I read your comments, your stories and your words on your blogs. Thanks again as always for sharing this space with me – we’ll get through this together.

Unhappy, darling?

Over the weekend Green admitted that one of the reasons he broke things off with Maria-the-whore was because she was cheating on him and seeing other men.  Can you imagine my surprise?!  Green said that while he didn’t like that she was irresponsible, negative and demeaning to others, selfish and just plain bat-shit crazy he really did have some very big issues with her being a whore.  Unfaithful to him.  Hah!  I burst out laughing and called him a hypocrite, he got kind of upset (I could tell) but he stayed quiet.

Until I said… “Good! I’m glad!”

Being Pretty Ain’t Pretty

Question: I know I love my husband, I think I forgive him, I want to stay and I want to make it work. We are getting along fine. But I feel like I’ll never be able to enjoy sex with him again. I hate the way I look and I find myself thinking about the other woman every time he approaches me. I can’t help thinking he compares my 40 year old, 4th baby body and face to his 35 no children blond beautiful lover. I don’t know how my marriage will survive without sex. I had a nose job and a face-lift and I still don’t feel likeable or lovable. I’m going completely crazy. Your husband’s lover was your same age and not prettier than you but that’s not my case and it makes it all so much more difficult.  Am I Sexy? What is the Role of my Appearance in my Spouse’s Affair? By Anne Bercht – September 30, 2013

This is something I struggle with daily.  Always have.  I have always been self conscious about my looks.  Big deal you say, so does every woman.  I guess but i am not pretty and I know it.  I am attractive mostly because I am tall and thin.  But my nose is somewhat pronounced, my chin is pointy, my eyes are large and my forehead wide.  If I had to say I looked like a celebrity it’s usually Uma Thurman, see, she’s not traditionally pretty.  So I strive to find confidence in my intelligence and personality.

I have had guy friends tell  me that  “I would love to marry a girl like you. Smart, supportive, kind… ” then it trails off because they don’t want to say anything about my looks.  One time it was a very good looking friend, Rick, at a wedding who was drunk at the time, he’s so sweet and is a good friend to Green and I, and he had been dumped by a very nice and beautiful girl who found him to be too immature for marriage.  So at the time, in his heartbreak he said the same thing to me, about wanting a girl like me and then said, “Well look at me. I can pretty much get any girl I want.  She has to pretty.   But nice, funny and smart like you.”  We laughed at the last bit and he said, “You know what I mean.”   And I did.  I get it, I am not pretty in the way that girls in LA and Orange County are… believe me its tough out here!  But if I was, well then I would be the perfect girl to marry.   I still laugh when I remember that sloppy romantic yet pretty rude comment.   Stupid, sweet but pretty Rick.

I am embarrassed to admit that as a very skinny, very poor (I had out of style clothes) and very shy college freshman, I was invited to a pig party.   Like a naive idiot I fell for it.  I thought I was being invited to a party with the cool fraternity kids.  Hah! Luckily for me my roommate knew what was up and she let me down gently.   She took me bowling instead and showed me how to wax my eyebrows.  I thank her every two weeks when I get them redone, now.