About me

FlacaSome people call me Flaca.

I’m the betrayed wife who discovered my husbands affair in the Fall of 2011.

Welcome to my online journal into the hell of marital infidelity. It is my expression of the pain, rage, devastation, humiliation and, most surprisingly, the insight and perspective I have experienced and gained. I offer only my journey and what has worked (and has not worked ) for me. I so often have felt very alone and it was online that I found some wonderful friends, allies and advice. Some not so great but we can get to that, too. This shit is hard.

Storyline – Met in 2001. Dating 2002. Married 2007. He cheated Fall 2011. I threw him out Jan. 2012. I accepted him back home Fall 2012. He was my BEST friend. Overall we are blessed with good educations, stable income and professions, a home, lovely kiddos, cute dogs… so how could IT happen to us?

Take some insecurity (him), selfish and immature brooding (him), some bad impulse control & boundary issues (him), lots of low self esteem (the whore), f’d up daddy issues & pathetic social climbing (the whore) add in a dash of blind devotion (me) + an attraction to all things broken (me) and mix it all up = INFIDELITY.

So I’ve learned that affairs don’t only happen in bad marriages they happen in good ones, too. So now what? Time for me to deconstruct, to take a breath, mix up a cocktail and figure this shit out.

Cast –
Flaca – the super awesome but betrayed wife
Green – my favorite color & the color of his eyes, he is my cheating husband, my betrayer, the man i love(d) & still my best friend
Maria – the whore, called herself his mistress, she is a proud home-wrecker with NO self respect or respect for others. human trash.
Ditto & Dot – the kiddos
Peppa & Pig – the cute utterly devoted doggies
Rita – my very damaged mother-in-law who instead of offering help through her son’s infidelity chose to facilitate it

10 Responses to “About me”

  1. Elle March 28, 2013 at 5:29 pm #

    Hey Flaca, Glad you’ve started a blog. It’s a great way (if I do say so myself) to help process much of the pain following infidelity. I’ll add you to my blogroll!

    Elle

    • Flaca March 28, 2013 at 5:45 pm #

      awww, i’m flattered! you are one of the first blogs that I found during my descent into hell post Dday #1. once i stumbled onto your blog it was SO TRANSFORMATIVE, for once i didn’t feel alone, stupid or crazy. through your posts, and others comments, i found that indeed there were many others, out there, like me, who wanted to BEAT and SURVIVE infidelity. thanks for showing me through your blog, and others, that there is a path out. i am not done, hah, i barely started but your story (and others) help me keep going. and you are right… just writing it out has been a great help. there is still much to say, process, but its a journey and i can’t rush it. THANKS FOR VISITING!

  2. Comfortably Numb April 10, 2013 at 9:57 am #

    I love the way you have written this page…Its a TERRIBLE situation (and Im sorry it happened) but you add such a kick ass attitude to it…looking forward to catching up xB

    • Flaca April 10, 2013 at 4:22 pm #

      thanks! its bloggers like you who inspire me! our stories our sad to be sure but i am convinced that WE are not defined by these stories instead we survive and can thrive in spite of them.

  3. betrayedin2012 April 23, 2013 at 7:00 pm #

    I started to read this page but my wounds are soooooo deep that i feel ur pain as my own.. i find it soo hard to cope with even the thoughts of my husbands infidelity that in the end i dont think im truely coping at all, just doing what im suppose to be doing– waking up cooking cleaning laundry loving the kids taking them to school..etc… — the things im auppose to be doing… how can something hurt so damned much

    • Flaca April 24, 2013 at 9:45 pm #

      I’m sorry you are in such pain. I hope you can rest and know there is hope and peace out there. I have terrible lows and terrible loneliness but blogging has given me much safety in exploring these feelings. My husband is remorseful but not helpful to my healing. He doesn’t understand and I am afraid he never will. Our marriage may not survive but I will find my way to healing. Please take care of yourself it’s a terrible place to be but we can find our way out.

  4. Jolene April 30, 2013 at 8:05 pm #

    You sound awesome…

    I am going to try hand this anger, grief, loss, betrayal to a higher power, it is too much for me to handle, so I have decided, God, you can have it, your more equip than I. And please don’t give it back. Oh and If you could do something with that solider of Satan, the OW, please do so. Thanks again.. And I pray for things to come especially for her, as you see fit.. Thank you

    • Flaca April 30, 2013 at 9:36 pm #

      Thanks Jolene!

      I pray too, mostly to help me let go of the anger. I have given the OW to God too. I have no time for her. She is obviously someone who needs a relationship with some kind of higher power! I do believe Karma is going to get her or will one day get her, of that I am certain. 😉

      Stay strong Jolene, this pain of infidelity is not bigger than us. Best wishes to you!

  5. Michael October 9, 2014 at 4:21 pm #

    Hey Flaca,

    Cool profile drawing. We thought you may enjoy this 4-minute film about a wife confronting her unhappy marriage.

    https://vimeo.com/105101621

    Take care,

    Michael

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