22 Aug
happy dance

I have no clue who this is but i love their coordinated happy dance!

So in other adultery related news Ashley Madison (AM) the disgusting website devoted to promoting infidelity got hacked. The hackers have now released the private information (which I will not list), with photos and the adulterous fantasies or ‘likes’ of the cheaters & their partners.

Given my temperament… At first I was happy. (See the happy dance?!)

My first thoughts –

Holla! It’s time for some Instant Karma!  

Screw this filthy company. Their slogan, after all, is ““Life is short. Have an Affair.”  I hope they get sued by their clients and lose tons of money. What the fuck is wrong with this company?! 

YES! Strike a blow to the corporate pimps who are making money off some the unknowing partner who’s being cheated on!”

After all I’m sick and tired of websites, tv shows, music and movies that promote infidelity (and there are many which I will not list here) and in my opinion contribute to the marriage destroying fetish of ‘do what feels good’ and ‘what they don’t know won’t hurt them.’   I find the whole endeavor of AM to be disgusting and the fact that someone is making money on someone else’s misery even worse.  They are in essence ‘infidelity pimps.’

In light of my own dealings with infidelity I’ve never commented publicly on AM because I don’t want to give them any screen time or publicity. I tend to agree with Trish McDermott, a consultant who helped found Match.com.  She accused Ashley Madison of being a “business built on the back of broken hearts, ruined marriages, and damaged families.”

But in light of this hack though I wanted to post this some comments here because I don’t think many folks are looking at the bigger picture. Is anyone even concerned about the innocent victims here? What about the wives/husbands and the children of these soon to be publically shamed families???

I guess I understand that these hackers think they exposing immoral people but is that their right?  Who are they to decide that this is an appropriate way to shame these families because of the acts of some stupid horny wife or husband?  I’m sorry I can’t get on board with that.  It’s blasting a family and humiliating them on a public stage.  Sure these cheaters are losers… but perhaps some who signed up may have just been using it for a fantasy? Or experimenting? Maybe some would never act beyond just signing up.

But for the wife or the spouse who would have to learn, in this manner, that their partner WANTED to cheat? Or did? In public like this? I can’t imagine. My own hell has been humiliating enough.  I pray for the families that will be devastated by these actions.

On my way to work a few days ago I texted my husband Green when the email data was released. It was all over the talk radio on my drive to work…  Yeah, thinking about that was a great way to start the day.


FML. I knew in my heart Green hadn’t been on it. But in 2011 I knew in my heart that Green would never cheat on me… this is my life now post affair.  I can’t trust my heart anymore so I had to ask.  The whole hack story just reopened the shame of being one of these exposed cheated on wives.  My own experience in being publically humiliated was close enough to this scenario for my own discomfort.

I wondered if my former ‘friends’ had trolled the site to look for Green.  In my heart… I bet some of them have.  Many of them enjoyed watching the side show of our ‘failed marriage.’

I f’g hate that I feel this way. This whole thing has been an annoying trigger and I have been flooded with bad feelings.

I feel bad for these newly humiliated wives, husbands… kids.  I’ll pray they find strength and peace. If you found your way here…in light of the cheating…. don’t blame yourself. Those of us who have been cheated on ARE NOT TO BLAME.  

I hope that these cheating partners and spouses will be kind, honest and patient when they deal with the repercussions of their actions and being exposed.  Cheating sucks. Cheating hurts families. Cheating is ALWAYS wrong.

*This post has been edited for clarity. I first wrote this post & saved in draft back in early Aug. The story of the AM hack changed since I wrote it so the blog entry was edited to reflect that.

6 Responses to “Hacked”

  1. uneffingbelievable August 23, 2015 at 5:37 am #

    Hi, Flaca. I understand how you feel as my first thoughts were with the wives, husbands and children of degenerates. But I truly believe it’s better to know. The faithful spouse needs to know they are married to someone who is capable of completely disregarding his/her partner, children, the life that they’ve built, the plans that they’ve made, the dreams that they’ve shared. It’s better to know you’ve hitched your wagon to someone that thinks in terms of “I” and not “we”. It’s better to know before he/she meets someone on that disgusting site who they think is the love of their life, so they start hiding money, making plans to exit the marriage, and spending marital assets entertaining the whore du jour.

    People who hear “Life is Short. Have an Affair.” and think that’s great advice and sign up with a credit card behind their spouses back have no right to be appalled that their privacy has been invaded. Sadly, the faithful spouse and children are just collateral damage. But weren’t they dubbed that anyway by the jerk who decided to have the secret life?

    There will be broken hearts, devastated families and many divorce lawyers getting richer. I think for many of the faithful this initial pain will be more palatable than living with a lying narcissist for the rest of their lives. It’s better to know.

    • Flaca August 23, 2015 at 2:01 pm #

      I hear you. I agree it’s better to know. It’s the forced out into the public… that part I find really messed up. Not for the lying narcissist but for the families who are the collateral damage.

  2. Justme August 23, 2015 at 6:50 am #

    hehehe. he really called you cookie 😉

    • Flaca August 23, 2015 at 2:02 pm #

      Hah! 😉

      • brokengl4ss September 5, 2015 at 2:41 am #

        It is the lies that hurt the most. You know, they know and yet they refuse to treat you with sufficient respect to acknowledge your grief and the subsequent fallout that infects every fibre of your body and mind. It is toxicity. It is poison. It is a hurt on a grand scale. YET WE SURVIVE.

  3. shawnthewife September 5, 2015 at 9:22 am #

    It still blows my mind that a site like AM existed at all! I should be more cynical at this point, but maybe it’s better that I still want to think the best about people. I mean, how dumb do you have to be to put your private info on a site like that?? (Blah! Idiots!)
    I hate how many families will be devestaed or completely ripped apart by the hackers, but if you break it all down, the real culprits of the marital annihilation are the cheaters. It’s ALWAYS the cheaters that are to blame. You can try to pass the buck and spread the blame around….but it all comes back to the effing liars.
    They are also the only ones that can repair the damage.
    Hug to you, Flaca.

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