Tag Archives: strength

Resolutions for 2014

31 Dec

For the past two years I have dreaded New Years Eve.

On New Years Eve 2011 my husband ditched me to spend the day with his whore.

He stupidly thought I didn’t know he was with her. He thought I really believed he was getting his car fixed and seeing his friends at sports-bar ALL DAY LONG.  I knew he was fornicating in a cheap motel with her.

He called me at 9 pm on his way back home and coldly said, “I’m on my way. Get ready.”

I was so filled with rage and as such, my response was not good.  I was angry. I was hurt and humiliated.  I was scared.

I screamed back. “Fuck off. Don’t bother. Go back to your whore.”

Green laughed. “I wasn’t with anyone. YOU. ARE. CRAZY.”

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My Choice

25 Nov

Often those who have been betrayed by a infidelity feel like they don’t have a lot of choice in the matter.  We don’t really when our spouse/partner decides behind our back to lie, deceive, steal and carry on a adulterous relationship that they SWORE would never happen.  The betrayed struggle with the why? And sometimes the answers is just because they can.

Murderers have no RIGHT to kill anyone just because they can. Cheaters have no RIGHT to kill a marriage just because they can.  In my opinion, Green’s cheating almost KILLED my marriage by doing something that he had NO right to do.  But we don’t live in a black and white world, do we?  In the end just because Green had NO right to do it doesn’t mean he couldn’t do it. He DID it.  He cheated on me.  Green’s cheating took my right to a marriage free from infidelity away from me.

So where does that leave me, the betrayed. Once that right has been violated where was a court to cure my violated rights? Where was my justice?

Most would say then this is where the betrayed spouse regains control.   Many choose to divorce.  Infidelity is like an atom bomb – it destroys so profoundly for some that there is nothing left to fight for anymore.  Some choose to forgive and reconcile.  While the infidelity is no less offensive, no less hurtful, no less destructive this betrayed spouse instead sees a path to redemption and perhaps a way through this tragedy to rebuilding a better and stronger marriage.

ImageI choose to forgive and to accept what happened. I chose to live a life NOT forever marked by it.

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The high cost of anger

14 Nov

lady-justice-269x300Friends let this be a lesson to you.

Don’t hit or slap a cheating spouse. 

It might feel good. They might allow it.  They may let you rage and strike them in an effort to convey the pain you feel.  Or they might not.  And you might get arrested.

In my case, Green used it as a tool to get back at me. His anger at being removed from our home by the Sheriff months earlier was now getting me arrested. What sweet pay back he must of felt!

All I know is that the momentary pleasure I took from it was fleeting.

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