Restrain Me? I think NOT.

15 Nov

opportunity einsteinSo today was a very odd day. It was a day that started out tense and negative.  Yet it ended on a pretty good note!  Life changing actually.  Life changing in a good way.  Good for ME.

So with my post of yesterday I was up late last night worried about going to court on my last appearance to resolve the domestic violence charges against me. Those charges actually were reduced, last year, to a stupid misdemeanor ‘disturbing the peace’ conviction but still being arrested, charged with a felony and faced with the possibility of my whole family and career being destroyed was highly traumatic.  As I try to move past this trauma I was itching to get this episode resolved but yet I was dreading dealing with the less than understanding court.

As part my misdemeanor pleading I was ordered to attend 52 sessions of anger management classes.  (More about them later.)  I completed them all on time so that was in my favor when I appeared in front of the Judge today.

“A gold star for you! I am glad to see you took this seriously,” said the judge.

It was not the nice lady judge I had before.   Damn. Strike one.  This time it was a little tiny judge who I’ll call: Tiny Judge.  Seriously another tiny male judge?!  WTF? Why do I get all the short judges with Napoleon complexes? Well that wasn’t in my favor… strike two.  Especially when I wore my 3 inch boots! Ooops… well at least my outfit was fierce.

Green wanted to address the court and asked remove the restraining order against me but Tiny Judge wouldn’t hear it.  Again just like the other stupid short judge.  I guess I look terrifying in my boots.  All 125 pounds of me.  Green weights 220.

So in his brilliantly lazy decision, Tiny Judge said, “Well she has less than a year left on her probation.  And she hasn’t had any issues, she seems ok under it.  Let’s just leave it in place.”  He paused to look at me but spoke to Green.  “Well let me ask, Mr. Green… Are you afraid of Ms. Flaca?”

I had to restrain myself from laughing out loud.  This whole thing is truly absurd.

Green took a deep breath and in his best lawyer voice replied, “No your honor, I am not afraid of her.  I know the court took the restraining order out in an abundance of caution but it is not necessary. It makes our parenting and reconciling our marriage more difficult.”

Tiny Judge turned to the DA and the DA just shrugged.  Are you f’g kidding me?  A shrug was going to decide my fate in living the next 9 months under the weight of a stupid restraining order?  What the hell?! Court on a Friday was not good to me. These guys all wanted to leave early for the day. Ugh.

As I was leaving the court I was obviously mad at Green.  It was not seething ‘I am gonna punch you’ mad but just really ‘I cant believe this is my stupid husband’ mad.  Saddened that the sum of his actions – his immaturity, his selfishness and his screwed up narcissistic nature had gotten us here.  He said he was sorry.  He said we should go have breakfast so that I would feel better.  I agreed, yes he was stupid and I was hungry.  On the way to the car Green said he knew I was humiliated and deeply hurt by the experience and that it wasn’t fair that I was the one who paid the price for all his bad decisions.  I agreed.  Stupid stupid Green.

And then I got a text and saw that I had a missed call and an email. Odd.  Who was trying to reach me so badly?  When I checked my messages my heart jumped.  I was nervous because it was from a woman with whom I had talked, over the summer in several informal meetings, about a new job.

  • It was a role that would nearly double my salary.
  • One that would surely double my national presence in my field.
  • One that would triple the highest departmental budget I had EVER independently managed on any campaign or project.
  • I never allowed myself to think I might get the job.  Hoping for good things is not my strong suit anymore.

Well now I showed the text to Green.  My jaw dropped.  Green’s green eyes sparkled and he kissed my cheek.  It was a message with a very enthusiastic offer to join their national team.  Their senior team.  In fact, it was almost pleading and apologizing for the fact they had taken so long to make me a formal offer.

Shut the front door! Out of the blue… my crummy day had turned completely around! And it was only 10 am?! Was this a joke?!

I didn’t care who heard me… instead I cheered through tears as Green drove to our favorite breakfast bar… “Fuck yeah haters! I win. I win!!!”

Green was happy for me. He said I deserved it. He said that I was a good person who deserved the recognition for my hard work. I wholeheartedly agreed.

Today I was given a true blessing.  A reminder that in the darkest hours there is room for opportunity.  To turn the bad into good.opportunity image

Actually, dear reader, do you remember that the time before last I was at that VERY SAME courthouse I later successfully passed a high level contract with the city council! With a good pay out as a result?! Did I just win another round of punching bags & pay checks?!

Is this karma?

I don’t know.  But I sure do see Lady Opportunity smiling at me.  I will think it over and most likely formally accept the job over the weekend.

Who knows, reader… Maybe that courthouse and slapping Green was really just my GOOD CHARM after all????

12 Responses to “Restrain Me? I think NOT.”

  1. tryinghard November 16, 2013 at 5:57 am #

    That is so wonderful. Absolutely it’s good Karma. You’ve worked hard to get that job. Yes indeed, One for the Good Guys! This is the epitome of what everyone tells. About taking care of yourself about taking care of yourself, you worked hard on your career during this mess and yes now you are winning. Congratulations! #livingvicariously!

    • Flaca November 19, 2013 at 2:21 pm #

      thank you!

      just a reminder that yes, bad things (and people) happen but good things happen too.

      its all part of life, i guess.

      best wishes to you!

  2. zenpoppy November 16, 2013 at 6:53 am #

    How exciting! Congratulations!

    • Flaca November 19, 2013 at 2:20 pm #

      thank you!

  3. Janey November 16, 2013 at 8:34 am #

    CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!!!! You deserve this!

    • Flaca November 19, 2013 at 2:20 pm #

      thank you!

  4. Jolene November 16, 2013 at 11:33 am #

    My D-day was the start of the year, I started reading your blog, and I never thought what happen with your domestic issues would happen to me. But something did, hubby took me out for 13 year anniversary. We had a few drinks, and later he had more. I made a truthful statement about his ex whore that insulted him as the insecure man that he was, and he snapped like a twig and pulled me out my hair was a relentless attack. With opportunity came I bite hubby and he let me go. I got in my car and escaped, that was it I was done and horrified.. I called for help and when the cops arrived hubby lied, Imagine that a cheating lying hubby, that lied!! He said I bit him and he had to pull my hair to stop me. I was taken to jail for 1/100 over the legal limit.. I was treated like shit by a cop after being assaulted.. So I get home the next day, livid as I have never been in trouble my whole life, and I now have no drivers license for 90 days. I am totally fucked.. Talk about the feeling of oppression!! So, I call attorney and tell hubby since he caused it all, he will be paying for it all, $2500 for attorney, $680 to apply for new license. Its four months to get to trail, I had plenty of evidence to include pictures to prove my case ( necessity to drive, the right to survive). Right before trial I am offered a careless driving and a $300.00 fine, I say split the $300 and make it $150, and we have a deal, and hubby pays. Prosecutor only says, basically this is what can be expected when you step out on your wife. This world is fucked up!!! I was scheduled for trial for my husbands sins. And he paid for them all. There was no win. The cop ask me out side for a smoke and we talked about some stolen property (local con man on a crime spree) and that he was going to get me justice for that, and is now to the table.

    I hear you, and this is some hard stuff to forgive, all the way around. But I have no choice but forgive and move on, and good things also came my way out of it. Such is life… Unbelievable..

  5. shawnthewife November 16, 2013 at 2:49 pm #

    First & most important…WooHoo for the new gig! Congrats, my friend! If I was able to meet the “real” you, I would love to clink with a cocktail and toast to new beginnings!

    Next…what a huge asshole of a judge! Seriously! Most DAs and judges don’t wanna bog down the courts with cases that have obviously resolved on their own. I can’t imagine why he couldn’t find it in his cement heart to cut you a break. I was soooo lucky when I went to court for my restraining order. That judge was such a smart cookie. He listened to my lawyer, not the OW. In my book, that makes him very wise, indeed!

    I’m thinking Green should consider purchasing you a little jewelry for his part in this court cluster-fuck. Just sayin’! 🙂

    Very proud of you for showing up in there, taking your licks and coming out with SUCH a positive attitude! You’ve got it goin’ on!!
    Huge HUGS!!

    • Flaca November 19, 2013 at 2:20 pm #

      thanks shawn! clink clink to our virtual cocktails!

      yeah, it wasn’t my proudest moment but i met it and its behind me now.

      hope all is well with you!

  6. Bee November 17, 2013 at 3:31 pm #

    Way to go Ms. Flaca! You earned that effing job and Karma can be a good thing too!

    • Flaca November 19, 2013 at 2:19 pm #


      i forgot that karma is a good thing too!


  7. Paula November 19, 2013 at 3:03 pm #

    Karma. Yeah! Woohoo! Fuck the haters! SOO agreed. Hope the job is all you dream of, and then some, Flaca. I know they are bloody lucky to have you.

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