Tag Archives: Marriage

In the News

13 Apr

Scene- DIY project Sunday. This weekend its replacing ugly mirrored closet doors in our bedrooms. Pushing them out of the house – it takes us both to move them. They are massively tall and weigh about 200 lbs each.  Kiddos- Ditto and Dot are playing ‘house’ in sunroom.  Huey Lewis & the News’ ‘If this is it’ is on the radio.

Flaca-  Sometimes I think we should give in and get divorced and end it all like Huey Lewis says. Are we happy or just avoiding fights?

Green-  No. Come on.. What does he say?

Flaca- singing, badly, ” If this is it, I want to know…. If this ain’t love, baby, Just say so… You’ve been thinking,  And I’ve been drinking, We both know that it’s, Just not right….”

Green, interrupts, –  Oh hell no, come on. No. No one listens to Huey. What does he know? Everyone knows that you listen to the News. You never listen to Huey.

And so we exist.  Moving on or moving past? Or just moving so we don’t have to stop and suffer the silence?

Red Letter Day

20 Dec

So its been a while since I last blogged.  About 4 weeks ago I had a big change in taking on a new job which has me traveling and commuting… something I have not done too much in the last three years. It’s a good change though.  I needed to be nudged out of my home office into the real world again.  (More about that later.)

Yet besides the hustle and bustle of the holidays nothing much has changed in my marriage…  We are friendlier.  And yet we are in a holding pattern it seems.  It was over two years ago that Green started his affair and its been about 18 months ago that the affair fully ended.

  • We still struggle with the issues that infidelity has wrought upon our family.
  • Green still struggles with his own shame and ‘making it’ up to me.
  • I still struggle with my fractured self esteem and in being intimate with him.
  • Yet WE still persevere.

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Rainy Wedding Day

22 Nov

Green and I are heading to yet another wedding tonight.

This wedding is a bit weird.  It’s for Green’s pseudo-step-father (the man who raised him) Granpa Rico.  Rico is marrying a woman he dated behind Green’s mother, Rita’s back.  It’s not cheating.   Rita and Rico had not been living together, affectionate or intimate in over 10 years.  They were very active though in co-parenting Greens sister, Maggie, so Rita my (annoying) mother in law took it kind of hard.  I think she thought he would never get over her or find anyone to replace her.  In reality, they treated each other like cranky friends.  It was very awkward.    I’m telling you these families of Green’s are beyond dysfunctional!

I am actually happy Rico is getting married. He was so unhappy with Rita, and while I don’t know Silvia, I do know that everyone needs love – even grumpy Grandpa Rico!  So tonight Green and I will dance, toast and wish them well.

It’s raining today and its seems to me so many people pray that it won’t rain on their wedding day. As if the pictures and outfits staying clean are the most important things.   As I get older I realized that rain is necessary.  Rain is good.   Rain cleans things away right?  Well later on, I would learn from friends that in many cultures rain is considered good luck on wedding days, because

rain-on-wedding-day“For one, it brings moisture to dry areas, which can create life and help plants grow and animals hydrate. Rain and water are essential to life on earth.

Further, rain is often considered a symbol of fertility. Water helps things grow. A couple may hope that one day their marriage will be blessed with children.

Rain is also is symbolic of a new start. The water can cleanse the earth and help wash away past debris. A marriage is a new start for a couple. If it rains on your wedding day, consider yourself blessed with a clean slate.”

Who knew?

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