So this post is being reblogged all over the the betrayed/wayward spouse blogs today. It is very good but it leaves me wanting more. As much as I admire its cautionary intent I am frankly left a bit deflated by it.
I guess, to me as betrayed spouse, and as I’ve shared with WaywardSpouse, that perhaps its a ‘day late and a dollar short’ in most cases. Do cheaters think they will cheat? I mean no one wants to be a low down lying cheater do they?! Everyone knows cheating is WRONG.
In our case if I had given this to Green I doubt it would have stopped him at all. He probably would have laughed at me. He was crazy while he was in his affair. I don’t know what drug or alcohol addiction looks like but to me this experience was as close as it gets. He was lying, deceptive, selfish and conniving. I remember when I kept asking him if he was cheating and he was denying it that I shared ALL of these outcomes with him. I asked our closest friends to intercede and Green lied to them too.
Green sneered, inches from my face, “I am not cheating on you – you’re crazy. But if I was nothing or no one would stop me or change my mind. No one can tell me what do anymore. I want to live my life and I want to be happy.”
Well well well…so now that he claims to be remorseful we are experiencing all of these outcomes. Loss of friends, respect, professional and financial setbacks, a std that I have to deal with, basically everything this list says will happen did happen.
So while I don’t relish this ‘I-told-you-so-moment’ I really wonder instead… So now what?
It seems that every 3 months or so we learn of another celebrity caught cheating on his or her spouse. To say adultery is an epidemic in our current culture is an understatement. And it doesn’t seem to be a respecter of position. Regardless of what we do for a living, (Politicians, Pastors, teachers, athletes, actors, musicians, etc) cheaters are in our midst. It seems to be so prevalent today that the question isn’t who is cheating but rather – who isn’t?
Too many treat their most important relationships casually and their commitments to them…
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