Before you cheat… 14 things you need to know.

6 May


So this post is being reblogged all over the the betrayed/wayward spouse blogs today.   It is very good but it leaves me wanting more.  As much as I admire its cautionary intent I am frankly left a bit deflated by it.

I guess, to me as betrayed spouse, and as I’ve shared with WaywardSpouse, that perhaps its a ‘day late and a dollar short’ in most cases.  Do cheaters think they will cheat?  I mean no one wants to be a low down lying cheater do they?!  Everyone knows cheating is WRONG.

In our case if I had given this to Green I doubt it would have stopped him at all.  He probably would have laughed at me.  He was crazy while he was in his affair.  I don’t know what drug or alcohol addiction looks like but to me this experience was as close as it gets. He was lying, deceptive, selfish and conniving.   I remember when I kept asking him if he was cheating and he was denying it that I shared ALL of these outcomes with him.  I asked our closest friends to intercede and Green lied to them too.

Green sneered, inches from my face, “I am not cheating on you – you’re crazy. But if I was nothing or no one would stop me or change my mind.  No one can tell me what do anymore. I want to live my life and I want to be happy.”

Well well well…so  now that he claims to be remorseful we are experiencing all of these outcomes.  Loss of friends, respect, professional and financial setbacks, a std that I have to deal with, basically everything this list says will happen did happen.

So while I don’t relish this ‘I-told-you-so-moment’ I really wonder instead… So now what?

Originally posted on AFFAIRCARE:

This article is so good, I am reblogging it here, word for word.  The original author is Rod Arters, and his blog is “The Official blog of Rod Arters.”  Catchy name, hey?  :D   So enjoy–here it is exactly as written:

It seems that every 3 months or so we learn of another celebrity caught cheating on his or her spouse.  To say adultery is an epidemic in our current culture is an understatement.  And it doesn’t seem to be a respecter of position.  Regardless of what we do for a living, (Politicians, Pastors, teachers, athletes, actors, musicians, etc) cheaters are in our midst.   It seems to be so prevalent today that the question isn’t who is cheating but rather – who isn’t?

Too many treat their most important relationships casually and their commitments to them…

View original 1,815 more words

5 Responses to “Before you cheat… 14 things you need to know.”

  1. Recovering WS March 7, 2014 at 3:59 am #

    Not for everyone is it too late. The point of this was to hopefully deter those who are considering an affair. I have received emails from people thanking me for helping them to avoid this step.

    • Flaca April 11, 2014 at 6:13 pm #

      Well then I applaud you for helping others if it has stopped just ONE person from cheating on their spouse/partner.

      NO ONE deserves the pain and humiliation that comes from infidelity.

      • Flaca April 13, 2014 at 12:33 pm #

        Indeed. Good for you and them.

  2. shawnthewife April 13, 2014 at 1:44 pm #

    Flaca!! Been worried about you. Still a little worried now that I see WayTard is lurking over here. What a narcissist. He feels the need to pat his own back on your blog!! I have no tolerance for the hypocrite.
    Glad you checked in. Hugs to you, my friend.

    • Flaca April 13, 2014 at 3:07 pm #

      Thanks Shawn! You’re the best!

      Yeah I’m not sure what’s that’s all about. Odd.

      I’m trying to be better about blogging. Work has me totally occupied but I think it’s been good. I do miss you and my other blogger inspiring friends! Big hugs!

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