When Infidelity Invaded My Marriage

10 Apr

heart book“Of all writings I love only that which is written with blood. Write with blood: and you will discover that blood is spirit,” Friedrich Nietzche

So I just posted the beginning of when infidelity invaded our marriage on a new page ‘His affair & My Stolen Year.’  It’s just a gory bloody start.  I apologize in advance.  I have delayed and delayed writing it out because frankly facing the ugly details still haunt and trigger me.

I hope eventually to put it up in a 3 chapters:

  1. pre-affair & setup
  2. the affair & our separation
  3. and our reconciliation/post affair recovery process.

I hope to find that writing out the ugly truth can help me sort out some things and put the affair into context in order to release and finally purge the rage, pain and humiliation that consumes me.

Thanks in advance for your kind patience, advice and understanding.

And why the reference to blood, you ask? Oh because before this sorry story is over, friends, there will be blood.

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5 Responses to “When Infidelity Invaded My Marriage”

  1. Comfortably Numb April 10, 2013 at 3:34 pm #

    Good luck, I found that writing the backstory part of my situation was so therapeutic. Just getting it all out and being able to tell the story of how things came to be…but when calm enough to do so without losing sight of any positives. Looking forward to it (is there ever a good way to put that about a bad situation? lol)
    Stay strong
    xB

    • Flaca April 10, 2013 at 5:50 pm #

      thanks! i still search for the silver linings, they remain elusive, but i am working on being a better person. leaving my marriage would be so much easier! something has got to give, i know i deserve it! so do you! 🙂

      • Comfortably Numb April 10, 2013 at 6:21 pm #

        We both do but I also believe we owe it to ourselves to get closure in one form or another – and if we work on ourselves in the mean time then that’s a silver lining right there – what doesn’t kill you…and all that jazz xB

  2. brokengl4ss April 21, 2013 at 8:36 pm #

    I am finding the process of writing down my feelings cathartic. I like the chance of being able to share with someone the pain and hurt inside my mind. It is so tiring carrying the burden with you, alone and full of shame. That is what it is for me. I feel ashamed.

    • Flaca April 23, 2013 at 1:28 am #

      Thanks for stopping by.

      I’ve been meaning to do a post on shame. How odd it is that I as the betrayed spouse feel shame about my husbands infidelity. I am very confused by it.

      I too started to blog to release some of this pain. I didn’t think it would help much but it has helped immensely. I read some of your blog today… Sending you wishes for peace and strength.

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