Baby, you can drive my car

27 Mar

Baby you can drive my car
Yes I’m gonna be a star
Baby you can drive my car
And maybe I’ll love you,” the Beatles

So last week Green’s sexy car broke down. The whore-mobile as I like to call it.  That car is a major trigger and it pisses me off just looking at, discussing it or thinking about it.

The whole process of replacing it is too bad, really, because it was I who suggested that we buy that particular car in the first place.  You see, when Green passed the bar and was working a newly minted attorney I suggested that he treat himself to an new(er) luxury car. Something that reflected his new status after all his hard work.   After all, as the young father of an toddler who just successfully survived law school I truly thought he deserved a treat.  I still do actually – that old Green was a nice guy.   And yes, that was me, always putting him first since I was ok driving the mommy-mobile.  (For me cars are just an mode of transportation I’d rather spend good money on nice shoes or a handbag.)

I never really rode in it much over the next few years either as it was mostly a commuter car for him and I got pregnant shortly thereafter which had us using my mom-mobile much more.  Like a slap in the face though that luxe car, the treat I indulged him in, would be the car in which Green would lunch, dine, date his whore Maria in. It would be the car that literally moved the affair.  The car in which she would hop in with a kiss kiss greeting, in which Green would take her out (and ignore his wife at home), and mostly likely it was the car they fornicated in.  (Ewww.  My kids sat in that car.)

Image

In the two years that we’d had it before Dday #1 and in the year that followed Maria-the-whore got more date nights out of that car than I ever did.  I hate that f’g car.  So sorry car, but you gotta go, take your sexy lines, leather seats, nubile steering and luxe details and hit the road.

Most surprisingly it was Green who suggested that car be replaced and purged from our life. I was very surprised and  I asked him if he was being honest with himself.  I didn’t want this, gesture, thrown back in my face sometime later.

Green: I’m sorry, its my fault, I ruined it.  It costs too much to fix and anyway its part of a past that needs to be cleansed. We’ll get a new car with new karma.

Flaca: It just makes me sad to replace it. I remember how happy you were when you got it.

Green: I’m sorry.  I’ll be happier with the new car. We have better days ahead, cookie.

So with that Green is letting me pick the next car. In 6 months I turn 40 and I want this car be fun, stylish and more reflective of ME.  No doubt I would love a luxury car but we can’t afford it right now so I am looking for something fun to drive, stylish but that is, mom approved, and high MPG as it will remain our commuter car.  I don’t want it to be clownish, because making Green look silly is not how we are going to heal, but I do want it look more like me.  So much of our marriage pre-affair had been about Green and keeping him happy.  So now its my turn.

Green isn’t the greatest at sharing his feelings or expressing his remorse but this IS him showing me he wants to be forgiven, that’s he sorry and most importantly that he understands  and empathizes with my triggers. I am going to take Green’s words and actions for what they are and take this as an opportunity to leave the pain behind in the rear view mirror.

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17 Responses to “Baby, you can drive my car”

  1. Still Loving Him March 27, 2013 at 8:45 pm #

    I found out after D-day #3 that my H had kissed his main AP in his car and then later fucked her in his truck that he got later. The month before I found all this out we’d traded his old truck in on a new $50k truck. If we’d still had the old truck I would have burnt it to the fucking ground. Now I resent him for having such a nice truck to run around and renovate homes in. The wear and tear is setting in fast, it’s a far cry from driving clients and whores around at his executive job. He offered last week to have me take my SUV (it’s paid for too) and his truck and trade them both for whatever I want and him get a cheaper work truck. He has mega guilt, as he fucking should.

    The husband of my husbands AP broke all the windows out of her new Cadillac Escalade when he found out she’d sucked my husbands dick in it numerous times.

    Both of us disgusted by our spouses, all of our kids having had rode in the cars.

    My H and I had sex in the back of his truck many times, in the exact place he fucked his whore.

    Ugh.. I can’t stand to think about it.

    • Flaca March 27, 2013 at 9:13 pm #

      OMG the husband of your husbands AP is my hero! he smashed the windows out an Escalade?! how awesome!

      *for the record i do not condone violence*

      but sometimes bitches don’t learn any other way.

      • Still Loving Him March 27, 2013 at 9:18 pm #

        I also don’t typically condone violence, but I make exceptions where whores are concerned.

        I physically attacked my H 3 times after D-day #2 and #3.. He pushed me over the edge with his constant lies and then revealing one whore after another. 13 women he did some sexual act with, 9 of them he fucked. Talk about being driven crazy.

      • Flaca March 27, 2013 at 9:36 pm #

        me too. sometimes idiots/whores only understand violence.

        in my case, i actually slapped my husband on Dday #2. i couldn’t f’g take the lies anymore. but wait for it, it gets better, HE HAD ME ARRESTED for domestic violence! i. shit. you. not.

        but that’s a LONG story for another day.
        and it’s another trigger.
        one day we’ll laugh about this shit, right?!

      • Still Loving Him March 27, 2013 at 9:41 pm #

        I can’t wait to read that post. And fuck no I can’t believe he had you arrested.

        My husband just took it every time. I beat the shit out of him and he just stood there. The worst time I left his arms, chest and back covered in bruises. My hands and arms hurt like hell. After it was over each time he said he deserved it. He’s right he deserved that and more.

        My H physically held me down once when we were in a horrible fight and I was going to leave him. He’s never hit or threatened to hit me.

      • Flaca March 28, 2013 at 3:08 am #

        Yeah I still feel like he should have “taken it (the slap) like a man.” He now says that he regrets doing it. He said I was acting batshit nuts and just didn’t know what do anymore. Hah, I know how about you STOP cheating on me and STOP lying about it?!

        Anywhoo… it was a VERY expensive lesson learned. At that point I learned that I could TRUST NO ONE. Not only had he cheated but he had put me in jail. I remember telling the Sheriff, “So where is the jail for being a lying cheating whore?!” Hah hah good times…

        Green, to his credit, has never raised a hand to me. I’m glad since he’s twice my size and could no doubt crush me. But it its own way, I think, that cheating is a kind of emotional abuse. At least in my case the constant gas-lighting, the deceit and verbal abuse that I suffer(ed) I believe rose to the level of emotional abuse. Its something for us to work on.

  2. Still Loving Him March 27, 2013 at 8:46 pm #

    What kind of car are you thinking about getting? I love the new Audis!

    • Flaca March 27, 2013 at 9:11 pm #

      @SLH, sadly the whore-mobile is an Audi!!

      gah! i love(d) them too. but now for now no Audi’s. we don’t know yet, still shopping, we live in So. California, so we need a commuter car with high MPG. not exactly lots of sexy choices. 😉

      maybe the next car after this will be an Audi but not now. whores ruin everything.

      • Still Loving Him March 27, 2013 at 9:16 pm #

        Shit, I’m so sorry… Blah… Face slap!

        Mercedes is nice too!! Bet you’d look hella sexy running around in a C230 or a GLK!

        I’m in a mommy mobile too. A Honda pilot, it’s top of the line, but still mommy mobile.

        I love Mustangs and was going to get one as a running around car and then I heard the song Mustang Sally and it ruined it. My husbands main AP’s name is Sally. Fucking whore

      • Flaca March 27, 2013 at 9:37 pm #

        hah, omg, i think we must be soul sisters. i drive a honda pilot too! that’s my mommy-mobile! mine is black!
        ugh too bad about the mustang… the song and car are both hot. the whore. not so much. whores are fugly skanks.

      • Still Loving Him March 27, 2013 at 9:42 pm #

        My Honda is black too!!! I have the touring edition.

        I fucking hate that song now… Argh… I hate that name. I hate that whore.

        I have to stop cussing like a sailor!

  3. betrayalsurvivor1981 March 29, 2013 at 1:41 am #

    SLH, if you stop “cussing like a sailor” you wouldn’t be you, & we like you just the way you are! 🙂

    1981

  4. betrayalsurvivor1981 March 29, 2013 at 1:45 am #

    Slut whore tramp bitch OWs are the reasons I hate that MURDER is illegal!!!

    1981

  5. scabs March 29, 2013 at 5:07 am #

    Dying to hear what kind of fantastic car is a reflection of you!

    • Flaca March 30, 2013 at 2:27 am #

      well i give you a hint – i love 60s mod (everything) and italy! 😉
      should have it wrapped up by next week!

  6. betrayalsurvivor1981 March 30, 2013 at 8:46 am #

    Flaca, Mr B invites You AND Green to take his BS/WS survey: http://www.whyhaveanaffair.wordpress.com/2013/03/29/why 🙂

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