Today I had to endure my third trip going to court with Green and listen to the judge admonish me about my lack of self control while he backhandedly congratulated me on finishing 37 of my 52 weeks of anger management classes. This is all because I slapped Green last year, two months before our 2nd Dday, when I suspected that he had not ended his affair as he had told me he had. It was not a hard blow but my nails were broken and I drew blood. Three little drops of blood. So Green called the cops like a punk. And me like a dumb ass, I admitted it ALL to the sheriff. Why not? I was not ashamed. In fact, I was proud.
“Hell yeah I slapped him! He’s a lying cheating pig!” I mouthed off as my handcuffs were slapped on.
“Well he still has rights to be in your home until you are divorced,” said Sheriff Tight Shirt, “And you can’t strike him. Unless you say you were defending yourself.”
“Oh no sir. He lost all rights when he put his penis into a filthy whore,” I said proudly as he took me to the sheriff cruiser. I was led past Green who was dramatically nursing the droplets of blood on his cheek. He’s had worse cuts from shaving but on that day he could’ve earned an Oscar for his dramatic acting.
“I hope you are proud of yourself SLUT,” I spat at him as I walked by, “I am the mother of your children and you are putting me in jail? Where is the jail for whores? You and your whore belong in WHORE JAIL. You should have taken that slap like a man. But you’re not a man. You’re a bitch.”
Me and my big mouth. Sitting in the back of that cruiser I had such a moment of clarity. WTF is going on with you?! I thought to myself, Damn Flaca – You have f’g lost it.
Talk about triggers. The courthouse. The stupid bailiff! I CANT STAND the smug mustachioed bailiff. But I hate the short red-headed Deputy District Attorney even more. (Red heads I love you but this DDA is a jerk! Sorry!) Today DDA Red Head tried to be nice to me but I ignored him and pretended to not hear him speak to me.
Green sat in the back of the courtroom head down seemingly praying that it would all be over very soon. Jerk. Like in all things from this affair Green gets off scott free. Green is not the one with the conviction (it was plead down to a misdemeanor but still! I haven’t had a traffic ticket in over 15 years and I had never been arrested. NEVER.) and Green’s not the one with a restraining order against him. Yes. You read that correctly. The court issued a restraining order against me. For two years, with one year done and one year left to go. It’s intent is to keep me from ‘harassing him’ or being less than ‘peaceful’ around him. He didn’t ask for it. It was required with my probation. Hah! The absolute absurdity of the situation would be hilarious if it was not all too real.
I told Green where is the restraining order for your STUPID PENIS?! Where is the restraining order for your hypocritical lying face?! Where is the restraining order against evil manipulative whores like Maria? He says nothing. We have already asked for the restraining order to be lifted but the judge won’t budge. I don’t know. He and I don’t seem to get on. I wonder why. Could it be my unwillingness to bend and accept that this is justice? Could it be he’s a sexist douche-bag who has an inferiority complex about tall women? Hell yeah I wore my 3 inch stiletto boots to court today. FUCK SHORT MEN in positions of authority. Talk about bullies.
On our way out from court Green tenderly held my hand. I pull away but he holds tight. On the road he stops to buy a coffee and a doughnut because I said I felt sick. Yeah, getting humiliated in court will do that to you. I said I hated him. He said he knew that I hated him and that he was sorry. Green says he will forever regret doing what he did. He asks me if he let me punch him in the face would that make me feel better? He says he won’t call the police this time. I laughed and said, Yes, yes it would. I did NOT punch him although I wanted to. Maybe those anger management classes are working after-all?
Good news? Yes I got some of that too.
So just twelve hours before my court visit I spent the evening prior at a city council meeting waiting to see if they would approve a contract for a company and public policy that I had been contracted to promote and get passed. Those city council chambers are just about 100 feet away from the courthouse that I loathe. Well last night that city council PASSED my proposal! Unanimously! I had organized 20 community leaders to be with me in the audience to support the proposal and the company in case we faced opposition. None appeared. It passed quietly and quickly. I know my client was thrilled. I was shaking. It’s the biggest deal I have ever closed. I have been working on this deal for 6 months! Whoo-hoo! Yes! Suck it haters! Yeah, I still got it! I f’g rule!
Suck it Judge Slick Backed Hair! Suck it DDA Red Head and Mustache Bailiff! Despite my anger and humiliation…. today in court I thought to myself, eff you Judge Jerk Face. Your fancy court house is getting closed due to budget cuts. Hah. I hope I never see you again. In fact I hope you ALL get laid off! But guess what Judge Jerk?! I just got a HUGE contract from the very same city that closed down your fancy court house!! Insert maniacal laugh here. Bwa-HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!
So you win some and you lose some.
Today I took a hit but I remember that at the very core I am still here. I keep going. I keep working. I keep delivering on what I promised to do. Money doesn’t make me feel better but it makes me feel safer. Green can hurt me but even he can’t stop me. No one can.